50 Songs Guaranteed to Evoke Nostalgia

To anyone who was born in the 80’s and 90’s, these songs should bring back some great memories either from your teenage years or just listening to your mom play them in the car everywhere you went. Guaranteed one of them gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day.

  1. All the Small Things – Blink-182 (1999)
  2. All Star – Smash Mouth (1999)
  3. Angel – Shaggy ft. Rayvon (2000)
  4. Apologize – Timbaland ft. OneRepublic (2007)
  5. Because of You – Kelly Clarkson (2004)
  6. Bitch – Meredith Brooks (1997)
  7. Bring Me to Life – Evanescence (2003)
  8. Boulevard of Broken Dreams – Green Day (2004)
  9. Complicated – Avril Lavigne (2002)
  10. Dani California – Red Hot Chili Peppers (2006)
  11. Don’t Speak – No Doubt (1995)
  12. Dreams – The Cranberries (1993)
  13. Drops of Jupiter – Train (2001)
  14. Follow Me – Uncle Kracker (2000)
  15. Genie in a Bottle – Christina Aguilera (1999)
  16. Hanging By a Moment – Lifehouse (2000)
  17. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani (2005)
  18. I Want it That Way – Backstreet Boys (1999)
  19. I’m Like a Bird – Nelly Furtado (2000)
  20. In the End – Linkin Park (2000)
  21. Iris – Goo Goo Dolls (1998)
  22. Ironic – Alanis Morissette (1995)
  23. Just Like a Pill – P!nk (2001)
  24. Kiss Me – Sixpence None the Richer (1997)
  25. Let Me Go – 3 Doors Down (2005)
  26. Lips of an Angel – Hinder (2005)
  27. The Middle – Jimmy Eats World (2001)
  28. Mr. Brightside – The Killers (2004)
  29. Mr. Jones – Counting Crows (1993)
  30. Pon De Replay – Rihanna (2005)
  31. The Reason – Hoobstank (2003)
  32. Santeria – Sublime (1996)
  33. Say it Right – Nelly Furtado (2006)
  34. Scars  – Papa Roach (2004)
  35. The Scientist – Coldplay (2002)
  36. She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5 (2002)
  37. Someday – Nickelback (2003)
  38. Stacy’s Mom – Fountains of Wayne (2003)
  39. Steal My Sunshine – Len (1999)
  40. Stickwitu – The Pussycat Dolls ft. Avant (2005)
  41. Temperature – Sean Paul (2005)
  42. Torn – Natalie Imbruglia (1997)
  43. Umbrella – Rihanna ft. Jay-Z (2007)
  44. Unwritten – Natasha Bedingfield (2004)
  45. Welcome to My Life – Simple Plan (2004)
  46. What Goes Around…Comes Around – Justin Timberlake (2006)
  47. What Hurts the Most – Rascal Flatts (2006)
  48. Where is the Love – Black Eyed Peas (2003)
  49. Without Me – Eminem (2002)
  50. Yeah! – Usher ft. Lil Jon & Ludacris (2004)

10 Thoughts Every Pregnant Woman Has

Every mother remembers the agonizing time it took after they awkwardly just peed on that magical stick to get the results that may or may not change their whole life forever… no big deal. And, of course, who could forget the minute that second little pink line shows up and the onslaught of emotions that comes right after? The whole experience is just painfully fervent, and, depending on the person, very happy.

Women always read “what to expect when you’re expecting” kind of articles that range from the changes that are about to occur in their body, to what kind of things the baby is going to need, to what life is going to be like with a little human, but the truth is, every pregnancy and living situation is different. Soooo, I am going to be writing a funny, yet sentimental article on thoughts that every woman has throughout their pregnancy. What I like most about this post is that basically anyone can enjoy it. Moms can read it to reminisce on the times when their little tot(s) was/were still inside them, moms-to-be can read it to compare their thoughts with the ones that I write about, and women who are currently TTC, or will be in the future, can read it to gain some insight on what this time will be like for them. I was going to separate them by trimester, but just like I mentioned before, every pregnancy is different so each thought could happen at a different time for each woman. So, here are 10 thoughts every pregnant women has at some point during those crazy nine months.

  1. Oh shit, I’m having a baby. This can be a positive or negative thought. Either this is exactly what you’ve been hoping for, or this was something you were not ready for. Accidents happen people, but this little accident will be the light of your life. So instead of freaking out, take the time to think about how blessed you actually are that you have the ability to have a baby at all, because some women never can. And for the women that have been praying for this for awhile, take the time to relax and relish in the moment. These 9 months might seem like they last forever, but you will miss the feeling of having your little one so close, the cute baby bump, and all the attention once he or she arrives.
  2. When will this nausea, vomiting, and exhaustion end? Okay, so this may not apply to you lucky women who have/had a perfect pregnancy, but I’m using it anyway because I had to deal with it. Plus, for someone reading this to gain insight on what pregnancy is like, I would like to know the worst case scenario for full-term, healthy pregnancies if I were them. Anyway, this is also a dependent situation. Some women have nausea only, some women have nausea and vomiting, but it usually goes away after 12 weeks, and, for the unlucky few, it can last until the day the baby is born. Fortunately, mine has subsided, and during the time I did have it, I didn’t take medication… I kind of just powered through it. The exhaustion was almost the worst part. For someone who is on her feet all day at work and was enrolled in full-time college, this killed me. I would literally fall asleep standing up. Some days I felt like a complete zombie. Wake up, throw up, force my eyelids open for 12 hours and sleep was my daily routine. If it gets to be too much, contact your doctor.
  3. Am I having a little princess or a linebacker? This feeling will not go away until you find out, honestly, so try to contain your excitement. For those of you choosing to find out, the period between finding out that you’re expecting and the day that your fetal anatomy scan is scheduled absolutely drags. I went through three stages. At first, I didn’t care what it was. If someone were to ask, I’d say “I don’t care, as long as they’re healthy!” which is a good mentality to have. Then I started having these strong motherly instincts that I was having a boy. It got to the point where having a girl seemed impossible, which was fine, because I wanted a boy. Legos were my favorite growing up, and I couldn’t wait to buy them for him. Okay, so it’s not like he would have been able to play with them for, like, 5 years, but I would have had a blast setting them up. Then, the day I was waiting for finally came – Christmas Eve, A.k.a my 20 week ultrasound. I had a couple friends and family coming over for the reveal. My boyfriend and I bought two outfits, one for a boy and one for a girl, and had the tech put the winner in a cute, little red box that I got to open in front of everyone. The loser went in an extra bag I brought. I wrote out all my old wives tales results on a piece of paper for everyone to see (I had more girl results than boy, but we knew that wasn’t going to happen). Believe it or not, I open the box, and there lies the little floral dress I picked out. Everyone was laughing at me because I was just in complete shock and didn’t do your typical jump-for-joy like most women. So, the third stage, was acceptance and complete happiness that I was going to have a mini-me instead. Now I have an obsession with looking/shopping for adorable baby girl outfits. I registered for everything in pink. I’m pretty crazy, but I’m just crazy for beautiful daughter that I have yet to meet.
  4. What the hell was that? this thought is referring to the first time you feel your baby’s tiny feet kick you. Yeah, it’s weird, and you probably will sit there and wonder if that’s even what you’re feeling. To me, it felt like a twitch right below my belly button. Now, it’s quite obvious when she moves/kicks because it’s 10x stronger than before. My boyfriend finally felt it after trying basically every night, and he screamed like a little girl. Seriously, hilarious. I’m laughing as I write this. The most amazing part is when you’re “alone” and laying down, reading, doing work, or watching TV, and she starts kicking you. It’s a sweet little reminder that you’re NOT alone. I can’t help but to smile at the thought of it. I wish she was kicking me right now, but sadly, she must be sleeping:(.
  5. Baby stuff… why is there so much baby stuff? At some point, you have to start looking for baby stuff, whether you’re buying it yourself, or you’re registering for it for a baby shower. For those of you that use Pinterest, it can be so much fun to browse and add pin after pin until the sun goes down (not gonna lie, some of my days off actually look like this) and sometimes it can completely make your head spin. “We couldn’t live without these items” and “you’ll be happy you pinned this later” are two common pin captions that you’ll find. Just a bunch of moms (who are mostly upper-class, so don’t let your heart sink when you see the prices on some of the items they suggest, you don’t need a $5,000 stroller) who are trying to help, but it can drive you crazy if you’re a first-time mom. This is something I’m currently stressing over. I have this constant fear that I’m missing something, or the baby will get here and I won’t have something that I absolutely need. It’s really weighing on me. Try not to get too stressed, after all, it’s not good for the baby. Try to think about how they did it back in the stone age when they had nothing… you’ll be alright ;).
  6. How should I decorate the nursery? If you’re choosing to wait until the baby is born to find out the sex, this might not be a huge deal. Something neutral, like grays, yellows, and greens with some baby animals, and you’re all set (now, I’m thinking how cute this would be). But, if you’re anything like me (CONTROL FREAK) this can be pretty difficult, especially if it’s gender-specific because the options are endless. For a boy, I liked elephants, under-the-sea, fishing, and sports themes (daddy loves to fish and watch/play sports), and for girl I liked vintage, like eyelet lace and all-white, floral, and fairy tale themes. I ended up with the floral theme because she’s due in May and it’s basically perfect. Now, I’m having trouble finding bedding so I resorted myself to buying fabric and will be sewing it myself… just kidding, my wonderful grammy is helping and my sister painted her an adorable painting on canvas already. But seriously girls, don’t be psycho like me, and stay off Pinterest for the nursery. Browse a retailers website and choose that way… so much simpler.
  7.  What will my baby look like? This is a big one. If you’re like me, you’ve probably wondered if the baby will have your blue eyes, or their daddy’s big lips. You may have even stared at you and your partner’s baby photos side-by-side to get a better idea. I honestly haven’t done this, but that’s only because I haven’t got my hands on one of Christian’s baby photos yet ;). The time will come. But what women doesn’t wonder about this? Pregnant or not, you have probably thought about what your children will look like. It’s a humanly instinct.
  8. What will their birthday be? We all wonder what day we’re going to have to set aside to celebrate every year for the rest of our lives. Yeah, we all have a due date, but don’t go circling it on your calendar because it’s only tentative. And unfortunately for me, it’s 5 days after my birthday, so I might have to share it with her. Oh, and I already do share it with my twin sister, and on top of that, I have to share the day with all the moms out there every few years for mother’s day. If their due date is around a holiday, you’ll keep thinking about the possibility of the baby being born on that day. And, of course, if it’s around a family member or friend’s birthday, you’ve probably heard “you better have that baby on my birthday!”. It’s definitely exciting wondering what day your baby will enter this crazy world, but as it gets close to your due date, it might be less exciting and more annoying because you just want them out. You also can’t help but to think about what time they’ll be born, or how much they’ll weigh. Will she come at 3 AM when everyone is sleeping, will we have a ten-pounder, or will they come early and we get an itty-bitty 6-pounder? So many questions.
  9. My partner is going to be a father and we’re going to be a family… This could bring on a wide-range of emotions. If you’re lucky enough to have a smart, hard-working, funny, sweet and caring partner like I do, this is only a beautiful thought. You imagine how fast they’re going to change when they hold their baby for the first time. Thinking of Christian holding our baby and seeing how happy he is, makes me happy. He loves her so much already. I know we’re going to be great parents. It won’t be easy, but neither of us would ever give up on each other. This baby is only going to make us stronger. I can’t wait to watch her grow into a beautiful young lady.
  10. I can’t wait to hold him or her in my arms. This thought happens frequently throughout pregnancy, but it gets stronger the closer you are to your due date. Everyday I get this overwhelming feeling of love for her and I just want her to be here. You’re always going to hear “don’t rush it, you’ll want to put her back in once she’s here” which may be true, but under that layer of stress will always be a thicker layer of love. It’s hard not to also think about how short life is and how quickly they’ll grow into a moody teenager and then eventually have a family of their own. It’s a sad, but beautiful thought just to be able to experience this at all. I can’t wait to hold her, take care of her and introduce her to all my loved ones. She’s going to change so many peoples’ lives. I’m without words for the way impending motherhood feels, but it’s so special. My heart is full.

Religion: Why You Should Have One

Religion can be thought of in many different ways. To me, it’s whatever you believe in, and that doesn’t have to be a “god”. Whatever you turn to during tough times and whatever you put your heart and soul into, that is your religion. I will say, however, that I do believe in God, so don’t let this post be misleading. On top of Christianity, I like to indulge in a few other activities that I consider a part of my spirituality. Let me tell you why you should find your “religion”.

A friend of mine, who is much older than me… like almost 40 years older, is the best example of this mentality, so I’m going to share her story. And yes, if you’re anything like me, you find people in their 60’s to be the best people because they experienced their young adult years in the hippy era… they’re basically my spirit animals. Anyway, she struggled with alcoholism, a debilitating disease that affects many people close to that person. It can ruin so many lives, and is largely dismissed and underestimated by people who have never experienced it. Addiction kills you while you’re still alive, it controls and manipulates you. A couple years ago, we got the heart-breaking news that she went comatose due to alcohol poisoning and nearly died. If you ask her about it, she will tell you that she did die and was given a second chance.

Not long after her first day home, on one of first warm day of the year, she saw me outside getting ready to go ride my bike and called me over to ask me about the tattoo on my leg, which had been covered up all winter, so she never saw it (she doesn’t like tattoos, but I opened her eyes) ;). What I thought was going to be a quick hi-and-bye, turned into an hour-long conversation that changed my life.

She told me that she found her “religion”.

Of course I asked, “which one?”, and she looked at me funny.

She said, “well dear, a little bit of everything”.

She then went on about how she talks to God, but also believes in Chakras and reincarnation, which are both Buddhist and Hindu beliefs. And for someone so fixated on Christianity, I thought this was very interesting. We talked for so long about this and all the possibilities that is life after death. This woman is truly intriguing. Every warm day, she is working on her garden, which is so beautiful (I’ll attach pictures) and she smokes marijuana sometimes which makes her eccentric and that much more interesting. She really wasn’t lying when she said she believes in a little bit of everything and I have learned so much from her. She is who I aspire to be.

I also have other neighbors who identify with Wicca, another amazing practice that I have learned so much about thanks to them.

Having something to believe in does not, in any way, shape, or form, make you weird or weak. It makes you happier. Each day I am figuring out who I am and who I want to be because, again, thanks to these amazing women in my life, I learned to be open-minded towards everything and that, to me, is the greatest satisfaction in life.

Find your “religion” and I promise you will be an all-around happier person.

Antepartum Depression IS a Thing

I’m sure everyone has heard of the phrase postpartum depression, but antepartum? Probably not. Antepartum, reffering to the mother, is the period after conception and before birth. It isn’t the same thing as pregnancy, since it is a general term of the same time-frame, referring to both mother and baby (just to throw this in there, prenatal is the term that applies to just the baby). Normally, women feel better during this time because of all the “happy hormones” being released from the brain, but when you have a not-so-perfect brain like I do, this isn’t always the case. It’s been 4 months since I stopped taking my antidepressant and mood stabilizer, so it’s definitely out of my system by now. And, recently I started feeling depressed again… shocker. Some days I am over-the-moon excited about my daughter, just counting down the days until her due date, and others, I feel like I won’t be good enough and wonder if adoption would lead to a better life for her. Obviously, this is not what I want, but a damaged mind has the power to make me feel like it is.

Fortunately, over the past year, I have realized that I have the power to laugh at these evil thoughts rather than dwell on them. There’s always one thing that you can think of to bring you back to reality and feel like life is worth living again.

Mine is summertime.

It is almost impossible for me to feel sad when imaging the warm sun on my face, surrounded by about twenty trees in full bloom, with a breeze so perfect that it makes you think “this is what heaven feels like”. Find this place and your sadness will seem so infinitesimal compared to the beauty that you can create with one simple thought. The human mind is capable of anything – do not let it control you. Use your creativity, your kindness, and your faith to make up for the chemical imbalance.

My happy place isn’t just a figment of my imagination, it will be here in May, and this year I get to include my daughter in these day dreams, which makes them that much better. I can take her on walk and instill within her the same love that I have for nature, and to me, that is the best bonding (and a great way to make me smile). At the beginning of this post I was feeling awful and figured this might be a good time to accurately portray how depression affects me, and now I feel great. Never forget that your happy place will always be there. If you haven’t found one yet, you will, and your mental illness will not be so scary anymore.

Vaginal Birth? C-Section? Who Cares?

Let me start off by saying that I have never given birth, so this is based on opinion and not experience. Throughout my extensive research on various aspects of pregnancy, I have seen many subjective articles on women’s birthing experiences, which is great since I need to know what I could be faced with. The problem is, I feel like there is this weird tension between women who have had vaginal births and women who have had c-sections. I have seen many women who have only had c-sections get belittled since they never actually had to push a child out. I just want to say that no matter how your baby is delivered, you are all strong women and are just as much of a mother as the next. C-sections are scary, especially for women who get told that they have to have their abdomens sliced open last second and have only a minute to process it. I don’t know what is going to happen when I go into labor, so I am going to try to be prepared for both scenarios. Whether you had a vaginal birth, c-section, IVF, or are an adoptive mother, you all have the same job – to love and raise your child to be the best that they can be.

A Little About Myself and My Blog :)

I am proud to say that I finally got around to starting my own blog, which is something that most outspoken, loud-mouthed, gossip-ers would love to do. My 3rd 19 credit semester just ended, and I can actually breathe again. But, of course, relaxing isn’t something I am particularly good at, so I naturally had to give myself work… A.K.A this blog. Although, as soon as I figure out all this tech-y business, it’ll be more of a hobby than a task. Usually I’m great at figuring out the internet and computer/phone related things, but I’m pretty sure this process has given me my first gray hair. ANYWAY, let me tell you about myself now 😉 I have experienced so much in my short 19, soon-to-be 20, years. I’ll start off with my weaknesses and then move on to why I’m grateful. I have battled with mental illness for as long as I can remember. I was bullied all of my high school career, and eventually, after four years of not seeking help, I hit rock bottom at the end of my senior year. I can remember the exact moment I started to not feel like myself, and it was quite possibly the scariest thing ever. Every day it got progressively worse to the point where I would either not go to school, or spend the whole day in the counselor’s office, one of my biggest supporters (I owe her for my recovery). Each day was a blur. It felt like an out-of-body experience. I went from having extreme anxiety, to feeling nothing in the blink of an eye. All of my friends and family members felt like strangers, and I had no emotional connection to anything that was familiar to me. In May 2014, a week after my 18th birthday, I had my counselor take me to the ER because I needed to do something for myself. I finally made the decision to sign myself into a behavioral hospital, where I met amazing girls and got on the right medication. I can’t say much for their program, because I felt incarcerated and some of their counselors were awful. One had the audacity to tell me my family hated me, which obviously isn’t even remotely true. The food was great though, honestly. Two and a half weeks later, I was released by the doctor and I felt amazing. I felt normal, anyway. I got out just in time to go to my senior prom and to walk in my graduation. I truly am proud of myself for never giving up. Today, I am a photographer, my Canon is basically my child. I am a tattoo addict, I use them as a source of artistic expression and self-healing. I am a huge nature-lover and will spend every day above 70 by the river, hopefully with a fishing pole in my hand. I just started writing my first book, which I hope to be done with sometime this year. I am working on my Diagnostic Medical Sonography degree to become an ultrasound technician. And finally, the most beautiful part of my life – my family. I have a twin sister who is nothing like me, and that’s okay. My 3 year anniversary with my amazing boyfriend, who has been there for me through thick and thin, is coming up in less than 2 weeks. And, I am super excited to announce that our first child, a baby girl, is due to arrive on May 15th, 2016, 5 days after my 20th birthday. I am literally going to be raising a mini-me – another Taurus… wish me luck. I owe everything that I am and everything that I have to the Lord. You can expect for my posts to be based on these things. I will be posting about my pregnancy, advice on coping with anxiety and depression, my photography, the occasional zodiac post, and, of course, a rant or two, since I have a big mouth. I can’t wait to share my life and wisdom with you all. Welcome to our journey.